Coming Home....

So I'm home, and soo soo sooooo glad to be back. I have been feeling very scattered in my emotions these past few days. Victoria was really good, and extremely hard. I had to deal with a few too many of my deepest darkest issues while i was out there, and I'm glad that i can come home and focus on normal life.

My best friend Rachel and I have been feeling pretty down and out this past week. We both feel like our lifes have gone to the shitter and we've been down right mopy. Rightly so....the crap we've been dealing with has been hard stuff to push through. She came and picked me up from my moms house tonight after our long drive home (15 hours in the car!!) and we had a bit of a reunion. We were both really happy to see each other, and both really sad that we are both so miserable. We drove around forever trying to find deisel fuel....which was nearly impossible, we had to have a mini melt down to the guy at the petro canada in west hills to give us deisel! (one good thing about being a girl...cry and you can make things happen) Then we came to my house and proceeded to burn things! I've never done that before and it was surprisingly liberating!! Too bad it was soo f-ing freezing outside!! Where the hell did summer go?!? Anways....later tonight we were talking about how sucky our lives are and we were both complaining about how we want to start over...and this is what i decided:

Why should we have to go to another city to start over?? We can do that RIGHT here!! WE just need to make the decision to start over...feel differently, be someone new, a stronger, braver, more educated version of the old us....a better person who has the strength to push through the hard stuff. We are fighters...we will stand our ground and not lit life push us around. So Rach...i don't know about you..but i choose to fight. I'm not going to let life beat the shit out of me anymore. Its going to be stupid hard, and i KNOW im not going to like it. It will be hard work but i know it will get better!

Tomorrow is the start of a new month, a new semester, and a new me. Starting tomorrow I am going to:

1. Run at least 5km EVERY DAY!!!! I dont' care how cold it is outside or how tired i am....i will run every day.

2. Spend a minimum of 7 hours a day focused on school. School will be my full time job. I will get A's in all four of my classes. I will be prepared and not procrastinate!

3. Stick to my weight watchers and loose this weight. A minimum of 2lbs per week will be lost.

4. Put myself in situations where I can meet people.